some of my favorite things

What a wonderful day. Little transitions are happening all over, in my life. Earlier this week, I interviewed for a receptionist position at an insurance company. I may or may not decide to take it. This morning, I headed up to one of the most beautiful spots in Northern Califonia to clean a new client's home. This, is the view my client enjoys every day! Jealous...
The owner of this new house that I clean actually owns a lodge, on the next property over. My time cleaning was split between the two places. Seven. hours. total. I'm talking straight cleaning, and stuffing down food while I'm scrubbing the counter. I was sweaty at the end, and oh so tired. The fall-over-kind of tired. And ohhh does my back ache! I seriously need to see a chiropracter, and I mean now. Right now, I am standing at the front desk, in the middle of my six hour shift {yes, I am pulling a 13 hour day on my feet}. There is a sharp pain in my right pelvis that is making me want to limp. Add that to the sore muscles I aquired from doing a P90X workout yesterday {after another three hour round of house cleaning}, and you have one wimpery Heather. But, despite my body's uncomfortable disposition, {and some wild boy's staying at the hotel who were mooning the guests in the pool, from the second floor...} 
I am incredibly cheery, and very much enjoyed the day. Here are some more enjoyed things from the last few weeks.

Sadly, I missed the party, but I did love seeing this posted on facebook. Shane's twin neices birthday party.

 Taking Marla Moo Moo on a walk, and running into my house mom and dad.

 Walking the entire {largest} loop at the McConnel foundation, and laying down in the greenest bed of clovers at the end.

By far his favorite moment of the day. A whole truck full of wood for FREE.

I got Shane a new job helping the maintainance guy at my work doing upkeep on his five acre property. Shane was over the moon with excitement. He drove a tractor. cleared brush, and got to have a giant burn pile. Straight to his heart.

Another birthday, his lil nephew turned five.

 Ugh! More and more of him. I can't seem to get enough!



month of love {long post}

Hello Hello HELLO!!! It has been a very long time, hey? Sorry for my absense. This month has been a rough one. In a journal entry I wrote to Shane, I described this month as being very much the month of love. Not the gooey, lovey, dovey, and easy love. No, it has been the patient, enduring, challening, kind, and difficult love. Love is as equaly an euphoric and hightened emotion, as it is a choice. I made that choice this month, day in and day out, despite the darkest darkness I have encountered in a very long time.

My dear love battles with Manic Depression, or maybe better known as Bi-Polar disorder. At the begining of this month, I experienced a side of Shane that I have never seen before. He has had pretty sever bouts of depression during our entire relationship. During his lowest lows, my loving friends, {more like second parents} Beckie, Aaron, and I reminded Shane that what he was experiencing wasn't "normal". We encouraged him to seek medical advice, and ulitimately begin treatment with medication. He did. A few months into our relationship, he began treatment on a couple of different drugs, and he seemed to be improving.

Until, February rolled around...

Mania.

I look back and laugh when I remember a conversation Shane and I had about this disorder.

Shane: If you had to, which would you choose? Would you choose for me to have the depression side or the mania?

Me: Mania of course! I can handle the mania side! It's kind of fun.

NO... oh no no no Heather....
Truthfully? I had NO FREAKING CLUE what I was talking about!

I had never experienced someone in a manic state before. At least not that I knew of at the time. As soon as Shane told me that he had Manic Depressive disorder, I researched my brains out. That's just the kind of person I am. I am very thankful for that, because I do not think I would have caught or understood what was happening in Shane's brain if I had not educated myself.
I began noticing signs as early as the 1st of February. Little oddly-shapped pieces of the puzzle were coming together slowly, but it wasn't until a week later that I sounded the alarm.
It moves me to tears to see how many people rallied around Shane, and how quickly everyone sprang into action. His brother Shawn, and sister-in-law Ginny, were truly my life savers during this process. They had experienced Shane in his first manic episode, and really helped support us during this process. This man is well loved. No joke, there we're at least 15 people all playing a part in getting Shane through this. Each had a different roll, big and small, and I was their ring leader. I stepped into the position with such grace. SUCH a grace was put on my life for this time.
My strenghts kicked  in full gear. I basically organized, and ran Shane's life while he was "high".  Everyone would run questions by me before doing anything.
51/50s, four emergency room visits, doctors, physicatrists, state disability, psycotic behavior, 24- hour supervision, psycologists, and medication after medicaton after medication became a big part of my reality that month. I used to be very fearful of mental illness. HA!
It took nearly a month, but with the help of Shane's support team {and a two-week stay at a mental hospital two hours away- rough!} he was finally able to stabilize and come back to reality.

He is doing fantastically well now! I paved a road  to complete success, for him to take when he was no longer on a high. He jumped right on, and has been running towards healing from the moment he stepped out of that hospital. Shane has really taken ownership of this disorder. I really am proud. It has made me nervous to let go, even when he is looking me straight in the eyes and telling me to. I have never been good at letting go anyways. I trust him though. His actions have spoken volumes.

Now let me get real about something.
If you have never encountered someone in a manic state- FACE TO FACE- with full knowledge they are manic, then you HAVE NO CLUE what you are talking about. No text book, no amount of time listening to detailed stories, nothing else will ever {EVER} prepare you for someone in a mania. And, if you "jokingly" throw around the term bi- polar, then you should really stop. No one who has been with someone with manic depression would think that is funny. Quite frankly, you just look like an ass...
The sad truth is, mental illness is scarily misunderstood. I've been warned by numerous people, including the psyciatrist, that police officers will just shoot someone in a mania, because
1. they are trying to pull a power trip {I've seen this} or
2. they do not know what the hell is going on, and this manic person is very angry and agressive.
Many times, people mistake the episode to be drug related. Sometimes it is. In Shane's case, it was most definitely not, and he has five blood tests to prove it. One officer I spoke to at the hospital said that a manic episode is nearly idential to someone on methamphetamine.
People in a mania are {can be...-everyone is so different}  ill-logical, unpredictable, wired, intense, agitated, sometimes funny, outrageous, nasty, mean, impatient, sexually charged, unstable, and not themselves. We hid Shane's wallet, all of his money, his motorcycle keys, and did everything we could to create a buffer between him and terrible decisions he would be bound to make.

This month was rough, heart-breaking, testing, painful, extremely painful, agonizing, and over-whelming. We go through the storm, and now were on the road to balance, recovery, and healing.

p.s. I am SO glad that I have experienced both extremes of this disorder **BEFORE** I married him. This experience will only serve to solidify which ever choice I make regarding marriage.
If you're interested {I hope you are} you can find more information on Manic Depression HERE

MUCH LOVE!!!

little bit dizzy

You know those times when you are just going along, everything is great, and you are enjoying all your moments. Then, the next thing you know... {BAM!} an event if life you did not quite expect hits you in the face, knocks you to the ground, and leaves your head spinning.
Yeah, that was my weekend.
It can be so very hard to not feel discouraged. I was fighting some hopelessness in my heart while thinking about how many times I feel like I've fallen. I'm scrubbing the shower at my Friday house cleaning, and processing all that has been happening, and I think to myself, "it doesn't matter how many times I've fallen, as long as I get back up". So here I am, on my feet again, ready to throw life some punches of my own.

body wholeness

BODY

Throughout this last year I have been taking an interest in an {even more} alternative lifestyle. I have experiemented with Vegan, Gluten-Free, and Vegetable based diets. I was seeing a chiropracter for a season. For cramps {and other emotional girly stuff} I take a hebal PMS relief tablet, Calcium-Magnesium-Zinc pills, and "Get a Grip" by The Republic of Tea. I was trying natural allergy medicine for my allergies to cats, but sadly I needed something a lot stronger )=
I have some additional aspirations for this new season. 

Chiropractor
I want begin seeing a Chiropractor again- There is one in town I had been too who mainly adjusts the two top vertabre in your spine. I really liked him, because he is into holistic medicine and other "crazy" stuff. I'm trying to get Shane to go with me.

Whole-food-Vegetable-Based Diet
I'm working towards an unprocessed- whole-food- vegetable based diet. I really enjoy cooking and baking, and I'm moving to devote more time to that. Pinterest and our local Farmers Market have been become my healthful eating best friends. They make meal planning a synch, and actually fun {gasp!} I eat 100 times better than I did before I moved to Redding. A persons taste in foods really does change over time, and you really can learn to like other foods. I mean come on, I eat tomatos {happily} now! To accomplish this, I want to increase my consumption of vegetables. I feel that the best approach is to increase your consumption of produce so that you begin to crowd out other less nutritious temptations. I personally prefer to make food at home, because that way I know EXACTLY what goes into it, and into my body. Also, that will make eating out feel like a special treat, save me some monies, and a continuously fun date night idea.
Here are some basic foods I hope to crowd out:
Sugars- I have the worst sweet tooth! I want to lower my sugar intake including; Agave, Maple Syrup & etc.
Dairy - consume occasionally, but focus on organic & grass fed 
Coffee- I want to turn coffee into a treat, rather than a ritual
Processed & Empty calorie foods- there's just really no need

Exercise
Trust me, I too have fallen into the lazy pit, and have neglected my body of this glorious treatment. I can get bored easily with exercise. I need variety, and to make it fun. I'm aiming to become more physically active as a habit by plainly increases the amount of physical things I do. The picture above was taken on a bike ride Shane and I took around town. It was his great idea.  Here are some easy things I love to do, that will help make exercise stay interesting:
Volleyball
Hiking & Adventuring Outdoors
Swimming
Pilates
Running {slowly running} the trails
Stretching
Dancing
A helpful tip I picked up lately said that you do not need to do all 30 minutes of exersize in one sitting; you can split it up into three 10 minute intervals, or any way you'd like.

Sleep
My favorite pillar of health! I sleep A LOT. I've come to find that my body does require more sleep than most others. I'm shooting to always get nine hours a night, and never compromise for less than eight. I will not feel guilty for taking naps. My biggest goal is to NOT use the snooze button. I feel much better when I don't.


The most important key about each of these goals is to take the time to accomplish them. It is so easy to let unimportant things distract from staying healthy.

wholeness

I have had a lot on my mind about what I want for myself for this year. I find myself {as I'm sure many do}stirred to make goals, wishes, and strive to better themselves each January. I think it is a beautiful thing to stop, and ask yourself, "what do I need".

I've taken my time feeling out, and allowing my whole being to sense my needs, direction, and focus for this season.  It has been a wonderful, and organic experience so far. Just a few days ago, I was at Brew Craft Coffee reminiscing with my good friend, Misha, who I haven't seen for a while. I lived with Misha for my first two years of being in Redding. This lady knows me better than many of my friends. We sat on a comfy brightly colored couch, sipped some of the best coffee in Redding, and caught up on the last year of our lives. My talk with her was completely encouraging, as out talks usually are. She is so sweet, not judgemental, and seriously one of the best listeners. Misha has a gift with filling up my love tank with her candid words of affirmation. As I shared my stories, she had so much compassion for the journey I have been on this last year. Towards the end she pointed out that I had been through numerous difficult experiences, and she thought I was doing quite well considering those big events. I felt completely loved, validated, and understood.
Quality time with Misha, encouragement from mommas in my life, my natural interests, and my own quiet time has helped lead to into understanding what I desire for this season. You could sum up everything in one word: WHOLENESS. I am pursuing wholness in three different, but essential areas...

BODY
SOUL
SPIRIT

I'll dive deeper into process of pursuing wholeness in those three areas on another day. Right now, I am about to head home, and straight for my cozy bed.

enjoyed moments

I am having one of those super lame stay-in-bed-all-day kind of days. I was for sure going to bum it out in my room all day, that is until I tried to call in sick. {I am genuinely feeling like craaap} I called too late, and no one could cover for me.

 Fail. )=

 So, I put on my big girl panties, and had a cry fest all the way to work. Sometimes, I hate being a grown-up... on the other hand being a grown-up has some wonderful perks, and all those good moments make it work it in the end. Here are some of those moments I enjoyed over the last few weeks...

Having the pleasure of witnessing some of the most gorgeous sunsets. This photo was taken by Shane

pit stops during our motorcycle ride. I enjoy my crazy {and strong!} friends

He makes me happy. Exploring the tunnel we found in the meadow during our morning walk. Spiders webs covered the top, and I squeeled like a little girl the whole way through.

Roomies going on their first motorcycle ride! She loved it



          Taking the pups on a walk around the edge of Whiskey Town lake during our two days of camping

Spending time with these good looking men! They were great company during my man's work party.  

p.s. I am the rediculous kind of blogger in the sense that I am never satisfied with my blog name. I am pretty sure that I have changed it over five time within the last few years of writting. It annoys people who try to keep following me. Sorry loves! (=

I do like this one  a lot!{said that before...} It's special to me because, haeddred is my name in old old Scottish. I was looking up the meaning of my name, ledgends of the Heather flower, and other information about Heather a few days ago. I found some pretty fantastic facts! Let's just say that Heather is a beloved flower in Scotland, and the name is very suiting for me. I'm a sucker for names having meaning. I believe a name should speak about that person's personality. Well, I hope you enjoyed my rambling.

castle of igo

{I intended on finishing this post three days ago when Shane texted me about camping at the last minute. My response: absolutely! Shane, our friend Phillipe, two pups, and I camped out at Whiskeytown for two days and two nights. It was glorious.}

     I have seen more of northern California than most people who have lived here twice as long as I have. Believe me, I have been blessed to behold some breathtaking views! It helps when you have a boyfriend who owns a motorcycle, and has a constant craving for adventure. I know Shane and I would have been the best  friends growing up. We share a very kindred adventerous spirit. He is always doing something wild, and sometimes it gives me flashbacks to my own fun childhood. I would spend most of my time outdoors, building tree forts, riding bicycles {pretending the bike was a horse}, or exploring every deep-in-the-woods creek I could find at my grandpa's farm. I'm glad adventure is not something I have grown out of. It is more like I've grown into it.

      We couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day for a ride. On this particular adventure, Shane's good friend, Josh joined along in our mischief. We rode west out towards Igo and Ono. They are two of the tiniest towns surround by the most stunning farm land and wilderness.We set out to find "the castle" we had been told about the night before. It was a chilly ride up to the mountain tops, and we had the pleasure of playing around in some snow, something that I miss often. We hiked, they climbed vines, we encountered a horse with a sad eye, and discovered a legitimate tree fort. Most of the pictures I take are done right on the back of the bike, while we are riding. I love it

Sadly, we did not get to see the castle up close, but we heard that you can actually stay out there in the summer! Adding that to our summertime bucket list for sure.

first workout of the year

This adorable pup accompanied me and my roommates for our first workout of the year, a two mile run. I had to take a picture of her on our drive to the trail. Marla had me laughing out loud, as I watched her face being nearly blow away, out the window. I have no clue why dogs enjoy this so much, but I'm glad they do because it gives me a good laugh!

The five of us {another pup included} took a two mile run on the always beautiful Rivertrail, and today I learned something about myself.

           I am a SLooooooooooooooooooooo{ooooooooo}W runner.

No joke, SLOW. My normal running pace is that of leisurely jog for my roommates. They ran side by side the whole trail, while I chugged along, way behind them. It was fine with me. I felt no need to push myself. I mean, it is my first workout in probably three months. {I know I will get quicker as my body adjusts}

My roommates were incredibly sweet about it, and were not bothered by my snail like pace. See, they understand something; each person has their own pace. They knew that my running pace was unique to me. Awesome! Now, I understand why I was terrible at the 400 meter dash, in middle school. Please know that this is in no way an exaggeration  I ALWAYS came in last, no matter who I was racing against. After one race, I was thoroughly confused at how this much larger girl was able to run faster than me. I ran as fast as "I" could, and nearly puked my guts out. Well, way to go middle-school-girl from my memories! Congratulations on your ridiculously much- faster- running-pace.

My thoughts wandered all over the place as I paced my breathing, and watched others enjoying the trail and gesturing about how cute Marla was. The revelation of my unique running pace only served to concrete so many things I had learned over the last year. I have been on an incredible journey of understanding myself, and the things that make me who I am. "Being comfortable in my own skin" is one of my favorite phrases that describe this journey. I most definitely feel much more rooted, and excited for more of my journey to unfold. But that my friends is a story I'll save to share for another day. Until then, I'm feeling good about reigniting my active lifestyle, and having great roommates {and cute pups} to join me.  

cheers to a New Year

                                                

The holidays have been a busy time for me this year. I worked three different jobs over Thanksgiving, my normal two over Christmas, and scheduled again for New Years eve and day. All this work has had its benefits, but has also been wearing. I definitely cried to Shane a few times.My heart has had its fair share of missing home, people I love, and the traditions that make the holidays feel so alive for me. Each year I am away from home, my heart works through new challenges. I know someday my heart will feel more settled. Someday I will have a family of my own, creating traditions, and making memories. 

2013 came a few days early for Shane and I. In no way were we going to let such a hectic schedule stop us from celebration. The weekend before New Years, Shane and I headed to Chico for a day of recharging.  Chico is a Redding local's favorite. The town is culturally much more spectacular than what Redding has to offer. I let my heart dream when I am in that city. The houses remind me of the homes I love from the South Hill in Spokane. I may move there some day. When I think through it, I am pretty convinced that I will love it. Until that season comes, I will continue dreaming.  Shane was sleeping when I drove into Chico. I drove around a bit to take in the beauty.

 Our first stop {of course and always} was the Naked Lounge. Some of the best coffee around. Plus, what is not to love about the decor, and the cozy feeling that wraps you up in that little coffee house. 

Shane and I sat sipping our hot cocoa and coffee for close to a few hours. We sank into our seats, talked, and explored the possibility of living in a city like this some day. Time slipped by, and it was so relaxing to simply cuddle and enjoy each others company. We really had no plans for the day. We considered driving out to a nearby lake or national park, to see what the outdoors have to offer. That is something Redding does have going for it, incredible outdoor escapes. After lounging, we decided to wander around downtown, grab something to eat, and retreat to the cinemas to watch Les Miserables.

 Plutos for a delicious salad and sandwich, outrageous laughter next to brick walls {Shane farted to make me laugh when he was taking pictures, but he didn't know there was an old man that walked up behind him}, and fantastic company. Day of  celebration, well done I would say. Starting 2013 off right.